lunch hour

[ofanotherera]

Alfie makes a funny figure, walking through Tommy's pretty glass-walled building, along the marble lobby and towards the elevator that takes him up to the floor that houses the firm. He nods politely at the receptionist, who gestures for him to go on in. There are other delivery boys around, bringing quinoa salads and coffee with multi-syllabic names, but there is just one Alfie, with a few home made sandwiches and one thermos of soup.

He waits until the harried looking legal assistant leaves Tommy's office, and then catches the door before it can bang shut, and pokes his head in.

Comments

[bleak_midwinter]

"Why did you leave?" Before he can even think about the things Alfie had done there, what he'd learned.

[ofanotherera]

"It was primarily non-monogamous. More poly people than not."

Explaining, with a thin, long sigh.

"Had a few too many dates ask to open up."

[bleak_midwinter]

It doesn't surprise him that this would bother Alfie- too intense a lover to be able to share, Tommy thinks, and with Tommy, at least, he loves too fiercely to be able to give a satisfactory amount of attention to multiple partners.

He flattens his foot on Alfie's leg, finishes his first sandwich.

"How long were you involved in that community?"

[ofanotherera]

"Four years. Twenty, to twenty four."

So a good long time ago now, given that Alfie is older than Tommy, nearly coming up on forty.

"I brought some of it to bed with me in the times after."

[bleak_midwinter]

"What do you like- what did you?" This is asked softly, and he's too intent on the conversation now to remember to pick up his next sandwich.

[ofanotherera]

"Pick up your food."

He orders him, gently, which is partially to keep him fed, and partially an answer.

"I liked- a little of what's called service. A drink brought to me. What I talked about with you last night."

[bleak_midwinter]

"Me kneeling, sucking your cock while you unwind with a drink and a smoke?" His eyes are big, innocent- and he leans over to pick up his food, as told to.

"Does it always have to be sexual? Or can the fetching, the obeying be enough?"

[ofanotherera]

"They're all colours to paint with."

He says, smiling, and covering it with a broad hand. Tommy is a menace.

"I could ask you to shine my shoes when you next do yours. As long as you know, and I know, and the both of us consent to the overtone, then when I come back to them and put them on, and look at you-"

[bleak_midwinter]

He shivers, and lowers his eyes before he really notices he does. When he notices he looks back up, takes a bite out of his sandwich.

"You like 'a bit' of that. Other things...?"

[ofanotherera]

"I'm not as sadistic as they come, but I can be rough in bed. But I think you knew that."

A tiny little twitch of a smile.

"If we keep being interested in tying you down, you'll see that that all can feel more intense, if you're held helpless."

[bleak_midwinter]

He'd already noticed, but not registered it as a thing before last night- biting, scratching, taking Tommy with both hands and shoving him where he wants him. And that's always been where Tommy wanted to be.

Really, he reflects. Even taking the soulmate factor into consideration, they're remarkably well-suited to one another.

"Think I'd like that-- all of that." The roughness, tying him down. He's letting himself get distracted by the current topic, but he still has questions about Alfie's past- more than ten years ago, but suddenly relevant again to Tommy.

[ofanotherera]

"There's this strange, murky line, between normal- sorry, normalized- sexual activity, and these kinds of proclivities. When are you exuberant, and when are you kinky?"

He points out, thumb rubbing a small circle.

"We're pushing into that territory now- with the drink and the shut eyes, more than with the belt. The way you felt when you- slipped under, for lack of a better phrase."

[bleak_midwinter]

"I stopped thinking," he points out, recalls. "That's normal? Does it happen often, when you do that?"

He's a little more academic about it now, frowning as he eats, trying to fit everything into what he knows about himself, about Alfie, about the possibilities of sexual behavior.

[ofanotherera]

"If I'm right, you were in subspace. And yes- it stops you thinking. It's part of the reason people love it. It's a combination of a lot of suggestibility, a kind of- soft hypnosis, a huge endorphin hit if there's pain involved. For many people, it happens every time. It's the point, with or without the sex."

What else does he need to add?

"I would happily put you there in or out of bed."

[bleak_midwinter]

He has to stop the conversation here, for a second- he takes his feet off Alfie's lap and kisses him, slow and deep and long. It's not dirty enough to draw funny looks, but it's intensely personal.

When he pulls away his cheeks are flushed, his eyes pleased.

"How d'you know that you started- that?" Because he can't do it all the time, and can't deal with never knowing why Alfie is asking.

[ofanotherera]

"What do you mean?"

Settling closer, resting a hand on his leg.

"How did I recognize that you were going there?"

[bleak_midwinter]

"That, too. I meant- yesterday you asked, and I said yes. Will you always ask, or say-- from now on, this isn't just an interaction, this is kink?"

[ofanotherera]

"That's something we decide."

He says, pleased he brought it up.

"It's yours to give. And it can be complicated to negotiate. Sometimes it's good to draw square lines about it, to keep the rest of our time safe from overtone. Sometimes it leaps out at you, and you find yourself somewhere innocuous and ready to just-"

He clears his throat.

"Well. What I mean is we'll have to learn, together."

[bleak_midwinter]

He picks up Alfie's hand and kisses the knuckles, once, then draws his thumb over them.

"I'm new to this. A scarf around the wrists, telling someone not to come yet, a few slaps to my ass- that's all I know. I want to learn, but it'll take time."

Which they have, which he knows Alfie has to give. But he wants to make it clear regardless.

[ofanotherera]

"If it helps, in some ways you've probably gone further than we'll likely go. Unless it's something you really enjoy, I won't tend to give you a slap on the ass."

He promises, with a little twinkle in his eye.

"It will be slow, because- what we're doing, we're building a new kind of intimacy. Yesterday just was wrists to wrists, bondage less restrictive than the bedposts. It was 'I want you to come,' not 'don't come yet.' But it's about a different kind of intensity, right? If I'm not wrong, it felt like more."

[bleak_midwinter]

He bites his lip when he understands what Alfie is saying- right, exactly. Getting Alfie a drink and sitting at his feet felt more intense than getting his wrists bound, and when Alfie put the belt on him it wasn't anything like the last time.

"What makes it enjoyable for you?" Him, he gets: even outside of the sexual arousal, being cared for, letting go, putting himself in Alfie's hands- that's what did it.

[ofanotherera]

"The sex is kicked up, in and of itself. You know-"

He knows Alfie, who on the average day leaves a gentle dusting of bruises carefully under Tommy's long sleeves, pressed suits, who is far gone when they're at their most ragged.

"But the rest- it's warmth. Authority, and palpable trust. It's a give and take. I like the service I get, and am happy to give the security in return."

[bleak_midwinter]

He doesn't get it on a personal level, but when put like that it's easy to imagine it being true for Alfie. With the food gone, he feels comfortable enough to roll his chair closer to Alfie's, so that he can hold his hand, kiss his cheek, knock their knees together.

"Did you hope- imagine? That we'd share this?"

[ofanotherera]

He reaches up, resting their foreheads together for a moment, clasping his shoulder.

"Not so explicitly."

[bleak_midwinter]

He makes an inquisitive noise, rests his hand over the one on his shoulder.